Filed under: Uncategorized
2010 is going down in the books as the most difficult personal growth year of my life to date. On the light end there was the broken water main, a worn out clutch, sick cats and a slew of other headaches; on the heavier end of things a close family friend who had an aneurysm and a divorce I never saw coming.
My friend is on a trailblazing road to recovery and is a constant source of inspiration. A blessing and a curse, this crisis in particular helped me work through some of the cruft of the down times and gave me new perspective on life and my own personal struggles.
It never crossed my mind that I’d experience anything harder than having a baby at 15, but going through a divorce has proved far more difficult.
Being pregnant at 15 was tough, but I came out of it with a beautiful baby girl and a set of brand new eyes on the workings of life. When it comes down to it, the truly difficult things about being a teenage mom are how others around you view and react to your situation. There is no better training course on dismissing the misgivings of others.
Of course, I’ve dealt with more than enough of those misgivings going through a divorce, and I could go on forever about the negative aspects. However, I’m going to take a moment to enumerate all the good 2010 has brought me.
Friends. I have the best friends in the world. They’ve been there when I needed someone to talk to, when I just needed somewhere else to be, when my daughter needed to be picked up or dropped off when I was busy, or to just hold my hand and tell me I was doing a damn fine job in a difficult situation. My friends, both those I know in real life as well as those I know only virtually, have helped keep me sane and moving forward.
Family. We may not always agree, we might not always get along, but I know they love me and they’ve been extremely supportive and loving. This year, I had the best Christmas with my family I can recall. It was a wonderful experience all the way around.
My daughter. We are closer than we’ve ever been. We have our ups and downs, but together, we keep pushing on, fights, tears, laughter, love and all. She’s a constant inspiration and as we always say, “I love you beyond.”
I am fed, housed, loved, and have a job I absolutely I love.
I live in Asheville, NC—one of the most incredible places I’ve come across, with beauty inside and out, and an amazing community. I consider myself lucky to have found a place I not only call home, but feels like home.
2010 has been difficult, but I’m going to give myself a little more credit than I have been lately—as a friend recently encouraged me to do—and agree, in lieu of all the hard things I’ve been handed this year, I’m doing a damn fine job and have what it takes to tackle anything life sends my way.
So, thank you 2010, for all the lessons I’ve learned this year—for teaching me patience really is a virtue, friends and family are the most valuable assets we have, and there is always tomorrow.
Hello 2011.
Filed under: Uncategorized
17 years ago today, it was hot in Winston-Salem. Jessie Marie (aka Jae, Jane Kick Ass, Jae Bird…and so on) came into the world two weeks late and has been the keeper of her own time ever since. She’s beautiful, brilliant, and steadfast, with a keen, sharp wit and sense of humor that can make your sides ache. She is her own person, and my joy.
Jess, Happy Birthday =) I love you beyond
i<3u, mom
A collection of this morning’s rainbows, gathered from my Twitter feed. Thanks to @bcalloway, @BourneMedia, @h0zae, @dtodesco, @jeribella
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- From @h0zae
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- From @jeribella
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- From @BourneMedia
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- From @dtodesco
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- From @bcalloway
Filed under: Poetry
a shift into shadow
to escape the last strands of light
reaching beneath the canopy
I breathe
and listen, as mind-threads,
small cognizant fibers
finger out in search of
images and sound,
snapshots foreign to concrete memory
a face, or moment is there
obscured by the clutter of years
as I mentally thumb through
a streaming catalog of possibility
flashes play against the lids of my closed eyes
in waves intangible to perception
a door opens and closes
bounces, rhythmic against it’s frame
the rays are gone
I am left with traces
peripheral sensations
I feel them on my lips, ears, tongue
burned outlines of something other than
I smooth my skirt, run my hands the length of the fabric
they are there
soft impressions of vague intentions
like fingers over cotton
trying to feel silk
:: a free wallpaper from lou’s digital crayon box ::
(and now a story from lou’s digital pen too)
Preening his fur in the sunny most spot of the house nearly all day, Hop was exhausted; he had wrestled with tangles, coaxed out burrs, smoothed his fur, and he was now curled comfortably in the corner with a good book. With the rest of the day unplanned, he could take his time, maybe even take a nap.
He was about three chapters into A Hop in Hickory when it started.
Boing.
Boing. Boing.
Boing. Boing. Boing.
Where was that coming from? He glanced around and decided it was only his imagination and went back to reading. Such important issues were grappled with in this tome. Do you eat only vegetables grown beneath the ground, or do you eat the green leafy stuff from up top too? If another Hop invites you to their home, do you wipe your feet inside or…
Boing. Boing. Boing.
Boing. Boing. Boing. Boing. Boing. Thwapp!
It came out of nowhere. Hop was still reeling, seeing stars, when he noticed the sound had stopped. Where had the beast gone? His heart was fluttering, looking this way and that. The thing had attacked him! The most peaceful of Hops.
He was almost too preoccupied with panic to notice the lump under his tummy; cowering, trembling he started to regain his senses and then he felt it. Small, round, rather firm…he’d trapped it!
What was he to do? If he got up, it might get away. He must keep it trapped. Looking around for something close at paw he spied the tea mug he’d used earlier. Whatever it was, was small enough to fit under the mug. He would have to be quick. Rise quickly, trap it, and then scoot it to the door.
“Ok,” he thought to himself “one, two, three.”
Up he went with mug in paw, completely not prepared for what he saw. It was a bouncy ball…a tiny, white, bouncy ball. He looked around to see who’d thrown it. He thought he was home alone. Everyone else was out. Surely it wasn’t the dog, nor the cat. He was deep in pondering till he heard a small “Ahem.” He looked down at the ball. Was it talking to him?
“Dear Sir” she said “I’m so sorry. I lost control and flew into you; I’m just getting my bearings after being cooped up in the closet upstairs for years on end. Please forgive my rudeness. My name is Bounce.”
Hop paused. Surely this ball wasn’t talking. But she was and, oh dear, now it was he who was being rude.
“Of course, no trouble at all, none at all. So very nice to meet you. My name is Hop.”
“It’s so nice to meet someone so grand. It seems like forever since I’ve had civilized conversation. Dolls and clowns are so dull sometimes.”
Hop’s day was previously unplanned, but now he saw no better way to spend it than by asking Bounce to stay for tea.
Bounce was overjoyed. “I’d rather like that. It’s been ages since I’ve had tea.”
And that’s how they spent the rest of the day, in the sunny most spot of the house, Hop sipping his Earl Grey and Bounce swimming in blissful Chamomile…newfound best friends.
(most definitely not the end)
I’ve always loved dressing up. As an only child with no other children within miles of our house, imagination and a pup named Sparky were the best friends a girl could have. We’d spend hours outside, costumed (both of us) avengers fighting evil doers hiding in piles of leaves, howling to rally fantastical troops of badgers, bears, and reluctant felines. These are the moments of my childhood I remember vividly.
I still love dressing up; a pair of horns are always in my bag, because sometimes, I feel like being an Imp and sometimes a costume just helps solidify the feeling—I’m a child at heart forever. Imagination is a wonderful tool for relieving stress, and without it, I’d be further away from sane than I am already. I get strange looks occasionally, but I get the feeling they wish they had a pair too.
Last week on Thursday, I attended the first of a four part series for Asheville Vaudeville at BeBe Theater. There was a fiddler who charmed larger than life boa constrictors, a gypsy hula-hoop dancer, a pup who jumped through hoops, bowling pin jugglers, a great magician who was also one of the best comedians I’ve seen in forever, folks wearing top hats…coupled with the classic interior of the theater, the performers and emcee were so thorough in their presence, I felt as though Sparky were there with me and we were part of their traveling show.
With the current recession and cuts in both public programs and arts funding, Asheville Vaudeville has a noble goal: give to charity, feed the starving artist, and provide a much needed respite from the daily doldrums. The sold out show provided 500 meals for MANNA food bank, hired over 20 artists, and from the crowd’s response, any doldrum that managed to find it’s way in certainly didn’t make it out. Accomplishing all three goals on the first night=overwhelming success.
On the first Thursday of the next 3 months, this great troupe of talented people will take to the stage with brand new acts. The first sold out at the door, so make sure you get your tickets for upcoming shows early. Tickets are now on sale at Malaprops and will be on sale at the door.
Next performances December 3rd, January 7th, and February 4th. Shows are at the BeBe Theater on Commerce St. and begin at 7:30 PM.
You can follow them on Twitter, @AsheVaudeville and join the group Friends of Asheville Vaudeville on Facebook to stay abreast of happenings.
For more photos from the first Asheville Vaudeville, check out my Flickr set.
Vote. It’s the single most valuable tool in the hands of the American citizen. If you have the right to vote and don’t make the effort, you’re saying you really don’t care about the direction of our government, our way of life, our future.
Today, there’s no long line excuse, the weather (in Asheville at least) is beautiful & our polling places are easy to find. If you don’t know where your polling location is you can find it here: http://www.sboe.state.nc.us/PrecinctFinder.aspx. If you can’t find your polling place through this link you can email me your address and location and I’ll assist you in finding the correct location. If you need a ride, email me and I’ll be your taxi.
Please go out and vote!
“Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.” (George Jean Nathan)
This past Sunday the wonderful folks over at the Mountain Xpress threw their second annual Best of WNC Bash at the The Orange Peel.
Coming back late from Charleston, we missed Skinny Legs and All, (heard they brought the house down) but the Firecracker Jazz Band helped keep me on my very tired feet.
Throw in free food from Mela, Rosettas, Jersey Mikes, Doc Cheys (and others I can’t recall) great decorations and a larger than life wig, it was a fantastic event. Kudos and thanks to the Mountain Xpress for a great party.
some photos from the evening
